Thursday, June 8, 2023

Heaton: 10 Southern Sayings for Sweltering Summer Heat


With a week or two of winter and a summer that stretches from May to October, Southerners have lots of opportunities to conjure up creative ways of describing the heat.

1. Hotter than a billy goat with a blow torch.

2. It’s so hot I saw a squirrel putting suntan oil on his nuts.

3. Hotter than Satan’s house-cat.

4. Hotter than two hamsters farting in a wool sock.

5. Hotter than Satan’s toenails.

6. Hotter than a four-peckered billy goat.

7. It is hotter than a jalapeño’s armpit.

8. It’s hotter than hell’s pepper patch.

9. It’s hotter than Hell and half of Georgia.

10. It’s hotter than the Devil’s armpit.

Do you have a favorite “hot” saying from your family? Let me hear from you!

BlessYourHeartTim Heaton is a contributor and can be reached at His new book, “Bless Your Heart, You Freakin’ Idiot: Southern Sayings Translated” is available on Amazon as well as “Momma n’ Em Said: The Treasury of Southern Sayings.”