For Southerners and snow
When you first see it you say: “Butter my butt and call me a biscuit!”
Because snowfall in the South is as: “Scarce as deviled eggs after a church picnic.”
You soon find out that the roads are: “Slick as snot on a goat’s glass eye.”
And that your tires on ice are: ”As useless as a steering wheel on a mule.”
And if you get in an accident you might be: “So deep in jail they’re feeding you beans with a sling-shot.”!
For Yankees and snow
When you first see it you say: “That makes my butt want a dip of snuff.”
Because snow is: “As common as goat’s nuts.”
And: “About as much fun as a warm bucket of calf slobber.”
Also “As welcome as an outhouse breeze.”
Because your car is: “Stuck hub deep to a Ferris wheel.”
After about a day the dirty snow: “Looks like hell with everyone out to lunch.”
Tim Heaton is a HottyToddy.com contributor and can be reached at tim.h.heaton@gmail.com. His new book, “Momma n’ Em Said: The Treasury of Southern Sayings” is available on Amazon.
