Tuesday, January 31, 2023

The Oxford, Mississippi Dictionary: Behindoplasty

REALITYNeeded nomenclature for a growing community.

Editor’s Note: This is an installment in a series of blogs on new Oxfordisms.
When I traverse Oxford’s highways, byways, sidewalks, and barstools, I observe things that The Oxford English Dictionary doesn’t define. This dearth in accepted terminology leads to drawn-out explanations when referencing these phenomena. Our burgeoning community busts at its seams with growth, and so must our collective vocabulary.
So, I endeavor to begin a supplementary lexicon. This collection of terms will be known as The Oxford, Mississippi Dictionary*.
Here is another term to add to the vocab.

behindoplastyn.

The quick, surgical removal of the cranium of a young, deluded Ole Miss freshman from his own posterior. Typically performed by nature on a freshman who arrives at Ole Miss from out of state with his head firmly lodged inside his keister, kept warm by comforting feelings of racism and the delusion that Ole Miss will offer more of the same, based perhaps upon his perceptions of what Mississippi is supposed to be. Blood testing may reveal his white power cell count to be abnormally high. Upon exhibiting his views to the rest of the community, he finds his head very abruptly removed from the environs of his own cavity by the swift scalpel of reality. In post-surgical recovery, the subject is typically sent home to convalesce in permanent outpatient status.

— Tad Wilkes, tad.wilkes@hottytoddy.com
This is not a book. Yet.

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