Sorority rush can be described as a lot of things, but low‑key is definitely not one of them.
If the Met Gala and a job interview had a baby, it would probably look a lot like SEC sorority recruitment.
Ole Miss is known for having one of the most intense and competitive rush processes in the country. Southern rush in general is long, emotionally and physically draining, and downright brutal.
You would think that rush would begin on the day marked on your calendar, but that’s a common misconception. The pre‑rush process is just as emotionally intense as the in‑person experience.
Before rush even begins
The questions you’re tasked with answering in 250 words force you to share personal thoughts to people you have never met before. “Who is your biggest role model?” or “What is the most pivotal moment/experience in your life thus far?” are the typical questions you are instructed to answer with full honesty.
As you brainstorm, it feels as though there is only one correct response.
I spent countless hours writing and rewriting what I assumed to be the perfect answer. I wanted to stand out from the thousands of girls who were answering the same questions I was.
Actually, I didn’t just want to stand out; I truly felt like I needed to.
I needed my 250 words to be perfect. They needed to grab the attention of the heads of rush team members. I needed my one‑minute video to highlight every positive quality I possessed.
Once I completed the script for my video, I did my makeup and hair, picked out the outfit that they would only see a quarter of, and worked up the courage to begin filming.
A mix of anger and frustration began brewing as I sat in the corner of my room, repeatedly messing up. There was absolutely no room for misspoken words, stray hairs, or hesitation.
Perfection was the only option.
The resume I curated ended up being a heavily exaggerated compilation of every small thing I had ever accomplished in high school.
Being a member of a club turned into being the president. Volunteering for a charity once or twice turned into being an official photographer. Being a cheerleader turned into being the captain.
None of these “accomplishments” didn’t make me a better candidate. They just made me a liar.
It’s very easy to get caught up in rush. The whole experience is a mental game. It tests your conversational skills, your values, and your self-worth.
If you get dropped from a house, you’re just not good enough. If you get invited into a house, you’d better make them love you. Those were the thoughts that went through my mind when I found out which houses I would be visiting.
Let’s be real for a moment. This really isn’t that serious.
Is rush a formative experience? Absolutely. Is the outcome the most important thing that will ever happen to you? Absolutely not.
Yes, you should take rush seriously, but don’t let it consume you. That’s easier said than done, but during the experience, you have to step back and recenter yourself when you’re feeling lost.
Before I keep yapping about the mental side of rush, let’s dive into the physical details of it.
What exactly is rush?
Rush consists of three rounds: Philanthropy, Sisterhood, and Preference.
Philanthropy is the most informal round. The night before recruitment begins, you rank the eleven sororities on an app. There are eight equal top spots, followed by second, third, and fourth choices. During Philanthropy, you can get up to eight houses back. If seven of your top eight invite you and two of your bottom three invite you, you go to your highest‑ranked bottom house to make eight.
It sounds confusing, but you catch on quickly.
Now, during Philanthropy, the girls you’re talking to describe the organization they support: mental health, domestic violence awareness, children’s cancer research, etc. They ask if you have any connections to their philanthropy and discuss what they do to raise money for those organizations.
I always panicked when I didn’t, convinced it made me less desirable. Looking back, half my thoughts during rush were spent imagining reasons they wouldn’t like me.
Sisterhood is the next round, more formal and more important. Girls are running up and down the streets in heels and reworn homecoming dresses, frantically fixing their melted makeup.
During this round, conversations focus on what being in their sorority looks like: values, friendships, traditions. You get a better sense of the environment you’d be joining.
While you actually do talk about the purpose of each round during both Philanthropy and Sisterhood, those conversations are pretty brief. Most of the time, though, you’re just getting to know the girls. You talk about hometowns, interests, favorite shows. I talked about Love Island in half the houses I walked into.
You’re really just seeing if you mesh.
Preference is completely different.
During your first two rounds, you walk into girls jumping up and down, chanting, grabbing your hands, complimenting you, and creating just a huge wave of energy. Preference is quiet, emotional, and honestly a little uncomfortable. Girls are singing in a whisper voice and uncomfortably smiling at you.
I remember being so uncomfortable that I was literally shaking. But once you get downstairs, you get to talk to the girls you know personally.
You can only get up to two houses back during Preference, and you ultimately have to decide which house you want to get a bid from.
This means you have to make it clear which house you want that you love them and want to see their sorority’s name on your bid card, and to the other house that you don’t.
I would describe it as a breakup. You say things like, “I love y’all, but I just see myself somewhere else,” a real “it’s not you, it’s me” situation.
The big day
The following day is Bid Day. All of the potential new members gather at the Pavilion to open their bid cards, revealing which sorority they will be joining.
This is the most stressful day of all.
Every girl in the arena is sitting down, filming herself opening her card after the 10-second countdown.
A lot of girls get the house they said yes to, but others get the one they denied. You either start screaming with excitement or go quiet with disappointment.
It can feel like the best day of your life or the worst.
I know that sounds dramatic, and it is. But again, the outcome of rush is not the most important thing that will ever happen to you.
Now, as an active member of Kappa Kappa Gamma, I look back with gratitude. I know I made it seem like a tornado of anxiety and fear, but there are so many other amazing emotions that come with the bad.
Rush forces you outside of your comfort zone. It introduces you to people you never would have met otherwise. It teaches you about yourself, your values, and the type of person you want to become.
Rush may determine where you spend the next four years, but it does not determine your worth.
Long after bid day, what remains isn’t the name printed on your bid card. It’s the friendships, growth, and memories you gain along the way.
