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Loudmouth Bama Media Troll Condescends Mississippi

Troll be trollin’.

I was a little miffed at first when I learned that Cody Prewitt told Fox Sports that he thinks Bama isn’t quite as good this year as they usually are. I remembered last year when Bo Wallace said, mildly, that he thought we could score points on Bama, who ended up using that bulletin-board material—along with Tyler Sisky’s help—to keep us scoreless. I thought Prewitt’s comments might add unnecessary fuel to the fire within Saban’s Crimson Tide.
I’ve changed my mind. Prewitt, keep talking.
My new stance is brought on by this column by Pennsylvania-bred, Alabama-based carpetbagger sidewalk fan, Kevin Scarbinsky, who apparently is enamored with the impressive football histories of the teams in the state where he is a “journalist.” He is equally unimpressed with the football programs of Ole Miss and Mississippi state. Can’t fault him, really. Facts are facts, and records are records. Scarbinsky’s faux pas, however, is in his having written his little column at all. Rather than sounding like a journalist, he sounds like a hillbilly Bama fan living in a hollow log on the outskirts of Gu-Win who never attended a college course. Being a sidewalk fan is fine, of course, and I do not mean to besmirch anyone who hasn’t gone to college. However, sidewalk fans are not allowed to run smack talk.
I imagine Scarbinsky’s greatest fantasy is to knead chestnut brown Lady Clairol into Nick Saban’s precious scalp. And all men who are secure in themselves color their hair like a lady and milk an ex-Rebel staffer for his play-stealing acumen?
We’ll try to “put up or shut up” this Saturday, Kevin, as you advise. In the meantime, try to keep your fellow fans over there in Alabama from smushing their testicles on the faces of other fans, poisoning trees, or blowing up the meth lab before game day. As the man once said: “Bring that ass.”
Cody, what’s on your mind? Let it all out, boss.
EDITED TO ADD: After posting my thoughts here, I learned that Scarbinsky is, in fact, an Auburn fan, not an Alabama fan. This is puzzling, since his column demeaning Ole Miss and MSU comes in a week when Ole Miss plays Alabama and State plays Texas A&M. Auburn, you may recall, lost to both Ole Miss and State just two years ago. So, he’s an Auburn fan apparently vicariously bragging through the Crimson Tide. 
— Tad Wilkes, tad.wilkes@hottytoddy.com

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