I recently organized and spoke at a funeral. As a minister, that’s a common part of the job. It’s expected and usually involves wearing a suit and tie.
Under normal circumstances, I don’t usually dress up like that. In April, I attended a gala sponsored by our local Chamber of Commerce. I went as a hostage, with my wife acting as the hostage taker. It required wearing a dark suit and a tie. I felt miserable—partly because of the suit, tie, and dress shoes (ugh), but mostly because I find those kinds of events clash with my introverted nature.
Anyway, I dressed up for the occasion and did my best to keep a strained smile. Meanwhile, my beautiful, social butterfly wife was in her element, constantly maintaining and making connections. I do enjoy watching her shine; however, I’d prefer to do that without a coat and tie.
I used to own many different suits. Honestly, I still do, but the cleaners or someone else shrank them all, if you can believe it. All except one. I call it my marrying and burying suit. I’m doing everything I can to save it from suffering the same fate as its brothers hanging in the closet.
But I digress. Returning to the recent funeral, it was an honor to remember and celebrate the life of a good man. While his family is undoubtedly going through a season of grief, they also benefit from a life well lived. I haven’t known him nearly as long as many others, but I’ve known him long enough and well enough to have heard complaints if those things had been prominent in his life. Instead, the warm and kind memories of his children and grandchildren were what one would hope to hear at a memorial service. None of these memories felt superficial. There was a genuine depth to each one.
I’m sure this man made his share of mistakes. He was, after all, human. But faux pas notwithstanding, he lived a good, well-loved life with family, friends, and church. I’m not sure there is a better epithet.
I’m glad I was able to serve this family. I still don’t like wearing a suit, but for a man like that, I’ll gladly don a coat and tie.
How will you be remembered at your funeral service?
“Pay your obligations to everyone: taxes to those you owe taxes, tolls to those you owe tolls, respect to those you owe respect, and honor to those you owe honor.” (Romans 13:7 CSB)
Les Ferguson, Jr. is a minister and faith-based author. He can be reached at lfergusonjr@gmail.com
