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Attention Deficit Delight, Vol. 3 — Thanksgiving Edition

Jack ElamUndiagnosed, disconnected thoughts of the week

By Tad Wilkes, Nightlife & Lifestyles Editor
Various postulates and brain farts on …

Being Thankful

I’m thankful for football and thankful that Ole Miss is enforcing the SEC ban on artificial noisemakers by searching State fans for cowbells this Saturday at the gates of Vaught-Hemingway before the Egg Bowl. I’ve heard murmurs from determined State fans that they intend to smuggle their primitive ringtones into the stadium no matter what. But it may not be as easy as just wearing silent, stealth camo. Word on the street is that Dr. Nicholas Van Helsing is in charge of body cavity searches:


Alice’s Restaurant

I’m thankful for my family, including little sister Alice, which reminds me of Arlo Guthrie’s Thanksgiving opus “Alice’s Restaurant.” Every rock station in America plays it in its entirety on Thanksgiving day, but still, it seems every time I bring it up, nobody knows what I’m talking about. They even turned it into a movie, which sucked:


Hippies and Helicopters

Arlo was a good hippie. Which reminds me of this one:


Bona Fide Bocephus

Arlo was the Hank Williams, Jr., of folk music. I mean that in a very good way. Bocephus wasn’t always a complete jackass traipsing around with Kid Rock. Yes, in his heyday, nobody wanted to seal him into a 55-gallon drum full of poisonous snakes and drop him into the ocean. At one time, he was great, back when he was gettin’ it together between Macon and Muscle Shoals (with Waylon on harmony):

I Can’t Imagine How the World Would Be

Okay, now that we’ve meandered into this particular area, here’s one of many reasons you should like the Marshall Tucker Band:


An Empty Pack of Zig Zags and an Out-of-Tune Guitar

And I bet you were saying to yourself, “Hey self, Charlie Daniels is a cornball.” Also wrong, at least back in the day. He was another stellar redneck hippie.


In Closing

That’s it for now. See you after Thanksgiving

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