Just look at it. The meat, loafing.
It’s loitering at Ajax Diner with the do-nothing pinto beans (special side of the day) and rice and gravy, all expecting free housing in my stomach. And the cornbread has never worked a day in its life. Such a sense of entitlement. And why shouldn’t they feel entitled? They know they’ll get it. It’s what our culture has taught: If you are Matty’s Mom’s Meatloaf and you sit on a plate for 30 seconds, someone will be along almost immediately to rush you into cozy, warm lodgings. Our lunch dollars at work.
Alright, alright, you listless loaf. Come on in. Oh, man, now you’re kind of dragging ass in my esophagus. You just refuse to do for yourself, don’t you? Have some pride, for crying out loud. Don’t worry, lazy meatloaf. Sweet tea—FREE refills, of course—will help you along. Sheeze.
The worst part is how infectious this attitude is in our society. Even I am feeling lazy now.
Ajax Diner is at 118 Courthouse Square.
— Tad Wilkes, firstname.lastname@example.org