Are you familiar with the JK Simmons laughing meme from Spider‑Man? The one where he goes from dead serious to full‑throated, uncontrollable laughter.
That was this writer’s reaction after reading Texas coach Steve Sarkisian’s comments in a story published Tuesday morning.
“At Texas, we will only take 50% of a player’s academic credit hours,” Sarkisian said, via USA Today’s Matt Hayes. “You may be a semester from graduating, but you’re going all the way back to 50% if you play here and want a degree. But at Ole Miss, they can take you. All you have to do is take basket weaving, and you can get an Ole Miss degree.”
He also added, “It’s like we’ve forgotten about academics, yet less than 5% of these guys will play in the NFL.”
That’s the funny part. That’s the part that had me laughing. Forgotten about academics? Please.
College sports moved on from academics a long time ago, especially football and basketball. Spare me the lecture about academic integrity when college basketball celebrates one‑and‑done players who barely spend a semester on campus.
And sure, every school has easy degrees. Ole Miss has them. Texas has them. Everyone has them. But basket weaving isn’t one of them, at least not at Ole Miss.
Eighteen players on the current Texas roster are majoring in Physical Culture and Sports, six in Exercise Science and five in Communication and Leadership. (See the full list below.) If Sarkisian wants to talk about “basket weaving,” he might want to start with the majors nearly half his roster is taking.
Maybe that’s what Texas’ celebration trinket will be this season. A woven basket instead of a chain or a cowboy hat or whatever they’re using these days.
Sarkisian on Tampering
Sarkisian also made comments about tampering violations, something new Ole Miss coach Pete Golding has been tied to in headlines the last few months.
“We all signed up to be part of the NCAA, and then we all allegedly make the rules,” Sarkisian said. “Everyone knows the rules, right? Then we go to our attorney general and say we don’t like that rule, let’s just sue. Right now, no one is afraid of the consequences.”
Was Sarkisian worried about consequences when he flipped Hollywood Smothers’ commitment from Alabama to Texas in the transfer portal? Does he really expect anyone to believe there wasn’t tampering involved with Cam Coleman, the No. 2 overall player in the portal?
The answers to both should be no. Just like Clemson coach Dabo Swinney back in January, Sarkisian is throwing stones from a glass house.
Rebels Living Rent Free in Kiffin’s Head
This is the second day in a row an SEC coach has taken shots at Ole Miss or Oxford. Vanity Fair published a feature profile on Lane Kiffin on Monday where he talked about the struggles of recruiting players to come to Oxford.
“[They would say], ‘Hey, Coach, we really like you. But my grandparents aren’t letting me move to Oxford, Mississippi,'” Kiffin said, according to the magazine. “That doesn’t come up when you say Baton Rouge, Louisiana. Parents were sitting here this weekend saying the campus’ diversity feels so great: ‘It feels like there’s no segregation. And we want that for our kid because that’s the real world.'”
Of course, in true gaslighting, Kiffin fashion, he back‑tracked that statement the next day, according to the article.
“I just hope [my comment] comes across respectful to Ole Miss. … There are some things that I’m saying that are factual, they’re not shots.”
In what world is what he said respectful? Oh yeah. Kiffin lives in some fantasy land where Ole Miss was wrong for not letting him coach in the CFP while taking over at LSU. It’s a world where he can say one thing, then turn around and say he didn’t mean what he said, and everyone just nods along.
Why is Ole Miss Under Attack?
So why is Ole Miss taking so many shots from outsiders? The answer is simple: they’re scared.
Kind of amazing how uncomfortable our success is making some people. #rebelnation 🤔🤷🏻♂️🔴🔵
— Keith Carter (@KeithCarterOM) May 12, 2026
Every program in the nation just watched Indiana go from bottom‑feeder to national champion in less time than Kiffin was at Ole Miss. Schools like Alabama, Texas, LSU, Ohio State, Florida, Florida State, USC, Oregon, Michigan and every other big‑name program you can think of is suddenly on a level playing field with the likes of Indiana and Ole Miss.
But coaches like Kiffin and Sarkisian see how Ole Miss operates (the same way every other program operates, and if you just said “not my school,” especially your school). They see how the Grove Collective operates. They see the type of coach Golding is. They see the talent coming to Oxford.
They’re scared, and there are no games to hide behind. They won’t admit it, of course. But Kiffin and Sarkisian have the same thought: Ole Miss is good, and the support system is good enough to keep the Rebels near the top of the pyramid.
Texas Football Players’ Majors
- Colin Simmons, Communication & Leadership
- Ryan Wingo, Physical Culture and Sports
- Derek Williams Jr., Physical Culture & Sports
- Emmett Mosley V, Communication & Leadership
- Jelani McDonald, Physical Culture & Sports
- Kobe Black, Corporate Communication
- Kaliq Lockett, Physical Culture & Sports
- Kade Phillips, Exercise Science
- Karle “KJ” Lacey Jr., Health Promotion
- Jonah Williams, Physical Culture & Sports
- Michael Terry III, Interested in Physical Culture & Sports
- Zelus Hicks, Economics
- Brad Spence, Physical Culture & Sports
- Arch Manning, Communication & Leadership
- Justus Terry, Exercise Science
- Xavier Filsaime, Interested in Sport Management
- Daylan McCutcheon, Interested in Business
- Zina Umeozulu, Interested in Sport Management
- Ryan Niblett, Physical Culture & Sports
- Jordon Johnson-Rubell, Physical Culture & Sports
- Warren Roberson, Physical Culture & Sports
- Luke Dunham, Interested in Business
- Ty’Anthony Smith, Communication & Leadership
- Wardell Mack, Interested in Physical Culture & Sports
- Graceson Littleton, Nutrition
- James Simon, Economics
- Brady Sarkisian, Sociology
- Carson Berger, Finance
- Myron Charles, Physical Culture & Sports
- Rett Andersen, Finance
- McCoy Bruce, Physical Culture & Sports
- Jonathan Cunningham, Exercise Science
- Lance Jackson, Physical Culture & Sports
- Ziky Umeozulu, Interested in Business
- Eric Garza, Physical Culture & Sports
- Spencer Barnett, Interested in Economics
- Smith Orogbo, Physical Culture & Sports
- Bryce Chambers, Corporate Communication
- Jackson Duffey, Economics
- Isaiah Coleman, Physical Culture & Sports
- Devin Coleman, Exercise Science
- Connor Robertson, Management
- Robert Sweeney, Government
- Brooks Kieschnick Jr., Exercise Science
- Brandon Baker, Sociology
- Trevor Goosby, Management
- Jaydon Chatman, Physical Culture and Sports
- Jackson Christian, Interested in Sport Management
- Andre Cojoe, Youth & Community Studies
- Jordan Coleman, Physical Culture & Sports
- Nick Townsend, Interested in Sport Management
- Ridge Barker, Applied Movement Science
- Spencer Shannon, Corporate Communication
- Emaree Winston, Interested in Physical Culture & Sports
- Hudson Powell, Business
- Will Randle, Corporate Communication
- Maraad Watson, Sociology
- Ty Boatright, Finance
- Josiah Sharma, Human Development & Family Sciences
- Colton Vasek, Physical Culture & Sports
- Hero Kanu, Communication & Leadership
- Alex January, Exercise Science
