Dear Boise State,
You may notice, Thursday night, something violating the boundaries of your personal space. What you are experiencing is a phenomenon known as Rebs Up In Ya Face. Do not be alarmed. It will all be over in 60 minutes, and then you can have ice cream or a baked potato or whatever you do after the game.
You will find yourself on the field and hear the whistle blow. Very soon after, Rebs Up In Ya Face. Do not fight it.
The proximity of Rebs to the front part of your head will be very close. The Rebs, you see, will be in ya face. As I may have mentioned, Rebs Up in Ya Face.
I know you’ve seen photos of Rebs on the internet or seen footage of them in game film. This Thursday at the Georgia Dome, however, your view will be up-close and breathtaking. In your face will be Rebs. To put it another way, Rebs Up In Ya Face.
Whatever you happen to catch a whiff of is most likely whatever said Rebs ate for lunch, floating in the breath of the Rebs as they quickly close the distance between wherever they are and your face, their final destination.
Sometimes Rebs may be seen far away. These will be those running with the ball, toward the end zone. You may catch a glimpse of them if you are able to briefly see past Rebs Up In Ya Face.
I like to chant “Rebs Up In Ya Face!” at the game, a slogan I borrowed from its originator, Tito’s connoisseur Jason Causey. It is chanted to the tune of “Oops Upside Your Head,” but it’s better, as, you see, it refers to Rebs Up In Ya Face. I typically chant this at times when I see Rebs in faces. Thursday night, I will chant it often.
To be honest, I am already chanting it to myself inside my head. While others may be silently thinking, “I need to do the laundry” or reminding themselves to mow the lawn, I am repeating “Rebs Up In Ya Face” in my skull. The only cure is Rebs Up In Ya Face.
Do not adjust your prescription, Broncos. The Rebs are simply in ya face.
— Tad Wilkes, email@example.com
A Public Service Annoucement: Rebs Up in Ya Face
Dear Boise State,